Moving on...

I've moved my spiritual journal blot to http://barefootbooksnana.wordpress.com  for those who are interested.

Being a Resident Alien

As our youngest son and his family set off on their jouney to become Resident Aliens in Nicaragua, I find myself pondering on the words of Peter:

"11Beloved, remember you don’t belong in this world. You are resident aliens, living in exile, so resist those desires of the flesh that battle against the soul. 12Live honorably among the outsiders so that, even when some may be inclined to call you criminals, when they see your good works, they might give glory to God when He returns in judgment."

1 Peter 2: 11-12 Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13787-13789). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Accordingly, I am also a resident alien, living in this natural world with a spiritual world-view that is often incompatible with the expectations of others. It makes me different in some ways, but in many other ways, I am just the same. I am broken, when I pay attention I am battling against a willful nature that wants what it wants when it wants it, when I am NOT paying attention, I am giving in to that willful nature which keeps working on repairing and fortifying a wall between others (including God) and me. Like the people of Jericho.

I want to be like Rahab: seeking, obedient, wanting more than what the world says is tasty and desireable. I want to make a difference in someone's life, I want to bloom where God is planting me today, even though my heart is fixed on our grandchildren and I want to be a significant, positive, effect in all their lives, though they are spread from Oregon to Texas to Managua, Nicaragua.

Being a resident alien also means that I am not where my family is...I am apart, distant, away. My influence on their lives is limited. Do I yearn to be somewhere else? Or do I yearn to look to my Father and follow his will for my life? The choice is obviously mine. It's not always easy to choose for God, just as it was not easy for Jesus.

Jesus, be my model, be my guide, teach me how to be an effective resident alien and serve your kingdom as our Father directs.

Praying for our grands

I've been asked to lift our next youngest grandchild up, that he will indeed hear God's voice confirming the family's call to Nicaragua. Feeling led to I Peter I read the following in the 2nd chapter:
"4Come to Him—the living stone— rejected by people, but accepted by God as chosen and precious. 5Like living stones, let yourselves be assembled into a spiritual house, a holy order of priests who offer up spiritual sacrifices that will be acceptable to God through Jesus, the Liberating King. 6For it says in the words of the prophet Isaiah, See here—I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone, chosen and precious; Whoever depends upon Him will never be disgraced.* (Isaiah 28:16)" (emphasis and italics mine)
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13771-13777). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

I have recorded a brief prayer for each of our 11 grandchildren in my public prayer journal, taking time to quietly listen for how God might want me to pray. What I desire most for each of them is that they will seek God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength...that God will be first in their lives...that the struggles they come against as they muddle through their teen-years will be character building and prepare them for their work on God's behalf.

Weakness and suffering

Strange that I would randomly choose a book and chapter from the New Testament and find myself again reading about suffering and weakness. It seems that this is the message God is trying to get through my thick skull...that my weakness is not a bad thing; my mourning over the loss of the company, companionship, and blessing of our youngest son's family as they move to a foreign country to serve our God as missionaries is normal and natural.

From Romans 5:1-5 "1Since we have been acquitted and made right through faith, we are able to experience true and lasting peace with God through our Lord Jesus, the Liberating King. 2Jesus leads us into a place of radical grace where we are able to celebrate the hope of experiencing God’s glory. 3And that’s not all. We also celebrate in seasons of suffering because we know that when we suffer we develop endurance, 4which shapes our characters. When our characters are refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God’s goodness. 5And hope will never fail to satisfy our deepest need because the Holy Spirit that was given to us has flooded our hearts with God’s love."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 9621-9626). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Paul goes on to talk about Jesus, the Liberator, dying at the right time for me, weak and powerless and far from God as I am. That though I persist in wasting my life in my sin, "God revealed His powerful love to us in a tangible display—the Liberating King died for us." (Romans 5:8)
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Location 9629). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

I have just finished Beth Guckenberger's book Reckless Faith, which was mined from her jounal kept during the teen years, early years of her marriage and as a missionary to orphans in Mexico. It is both comforting and challenging. I find myself wondering about her mother (she reveals in the book that her Dad died of cancer a few years after her wedding); how is she doing with her daugher, son-in-law, and nine grandchildren living so many miles and worlds away from the familiar Midwest? Does she struggle with fear, especially now as the cartels gain more power in Mexico and dispose of any who might oppose them. Does she, like Meme in Beth's book, (p.199) want to advise her daughter's family to give up mission work for a season?

Jesus keep me faithful in my weakness and my mourning. Bless the tears that flow so freely. I am so grateful that they are not tears of anger, or bitterness, but are tears of mourning and therefore I can leave them at the alter as a thank offering for your goodness and your plan for our lives.

Choosing God's Path

I've been meditating quite a bit on some words of Paul's in II Corinthians, specifically Chapter 12:9-10. Paul starts the passage reflecting on the "thorn in the flesh" that he notes he has asked God to remove three times, a request that is consistently denied. Verse 9 starts with God's response to his final prayer request (to be rid of the annoyance) “My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness.”
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 11255-11256). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. .

There are so many things I am struggling with right now.

1. Our youngest son and his family leave in less than 10 days for their new lives as missionaries in Nicaragua
2. Finishing up my Master's program (and my last statistics class)
3. Faithfully growing where I am planted, when the truth is I want to be somewhere other than where we are right now (3+ hours from our children and grandchildren).
4. Accepting that I need to get serious about finding a church home; it is not enough to serve as a volunteer at the local hospital on Sunday's. I need to be making a difference and I need to be in a place where I am being spiritually fed and challenged
5. The frustratingly chaotic state of our home and yard. There is so much to do, but nothing will get done without faithfulness and consistency!!!

 Moving on in the passage, Paul continues with, "10I am at peace and even take pleasure in any weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and afflictions for the sake of our Liberating King because when I am at my weakest, He makes me strong."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 11257-11259). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

More traditional translations conclude with the familiar "For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Father in heaven, holy is your name. Let you kingdom come and your will be done in my life just as it is in heaven. Grant me just enough to sustain me physically...teach me to be content so that I am not always wandering around looking for something and wind up eating because I don't know what I want. Deliver me from evil, make me more sensitive every day to your Holy Spirit that you may guide my thoughts and actions, thus making me more aware of when I am being tempted. Forgive me Lord when I sin against you, and remind me that it is I who chooses whether your forgiveness will be complete or if it will have strings, because you forgive as I forgive others who sinned against me, deliberately or unknowningly.

Amen

Where is my focus?

II Peter 1: 3-4 "3 His divine power has given us everything we need to experience life and to reflect God’s true nature through the knowledge of the One who called us by His glory and virtue. 4 Through these things, we have received God’s great and valuable promises, so we might escape the corruption of worldly desires and share in the divine nature."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13931-13933). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

It seems that there is much to glean from this simple passage, but it requires quiet reflection to hear the voice of the one who would have me lay aside the corruption that has become so familiar that I am unaware of the control it has over my life.

God has given me everything I need; the example of Jesus who struggled every day with temptations as he was as human as I am. The lesson of Peter who stepped out of the boat and started to walk out to Jesus. If he had kept his eyes on the author and perfector of our faith, Peter would have been as dry and comfortable as Jesus remained when they clambered back into the boat. The lesson of Paul to sang in his chains; the lesson of Jesus as he hung on the cross; the lesson of Mary who failed to recognize the risen Jesus until he called her attention to himself...I have everything I need to reflect God back to all He brings into my path, if I will only keep my mind, my heart, my spirit focused on God.

Attitude of Prayer

I must confess, my "water" alarm clock failed me today and when the real alarm went off, I took far too much advantage of the snooze button. Faithfulness does not happen overnight!

I am continuing in I Peter, reading Chapter 5; what I am reflecting upon most today is how challenging a true attitude of prayer can be to maintain while I am developing my prayer muscles and choosing to begin my day in prayer.

Yesterday, my prayer time was dry and mechanical. I had the list, I prayed through the list, and spent considerable time choosing to be silent before the Lord, but there certainly were no positive consequences of my having chosen to pray. Perhaps I have unacknowledged expectations rather than dearly held hopes; or God is allowing a variety of experiences to allow me to be strengthened where I am weakest. Regardless, when I take time to focus on God, I am blessed. How that blessing is delivered or experienced is not important.

So, considering the above, here is what I am taking from I Peter 5 today: "8Most importantly, be disciplined and stay on guard. Your enemy the devil is prowling around outside like a roaring lion, just waiting and hoping for the chance to devour someone. 9Resist him and be strong in your faith, knowing that your brothers and sisters throughout the world are fellow sufferers with you."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13899-13900). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Enduring, Growing, Rejoicing...in Suffering

Curious the meat that God is offering this week as I continue in I Peter 3. Today's verse is: "17For if it is the will of God that you suffer, then it is better to suffer for doing what is right than for doing what is wrong. 18Because the Liberating King suffered for sins once for all time—the righteous suffering for the unrighteous—so that He might bring us to God. Though He died in the flesh, He was made alive again through the Spirit. 19And in the Spirit He went and preached to those spirits held captive."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13847-13850). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Not only do I think of my own "suffering" as I bid farewell to my mother and our children and grandchildren, I also reflect on the suffering they will inevitably experience in Nicaragua. I am confident in the blessings, present and future, but I also know that they must do battle with personal discomfort in a climate and culture that is foreign to their experiences as well as the expectations (OH, that those around them will come to know the differences between HOPE and expectations) of those they serve and those responsible for oversight.

There are so many messages in these few verses.

• Suffering is  not something to be avoided; rather when we are pursuing God's will, following the model of our brother Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, and choose to embrace suffering we can anticipate it and therefore be prepared to endure.
• Suffering does prepare us for what is to come. Though there is no direct reference, I cannot help but recall as I read this passage, that God never asks of us more than we can endure at the moment. Consequently, the suffering of today will successfully prepare me for what is in store tomorrow.
• Suffering experienced with our eyes fixed on God is less damaging, less painful, less fearsome than suffering endured when we are focused on our own self-will.
• And finally the promise...oh the richness of the promise in verse 19 "And in the Spirit He went and preached to those held captive."

In the commentary, the author writes: "Just because God calls us to suffer does not mean He is immune to it. At the cross, Jesus entered into our suffering. Now we enter into His."
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13863-13864). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

I've created a personal prayer journal to record the current focus how God appears to be directing my prayers and to enable a linking to answered prayer. The initial posting of my prayer journal can be found at LINK.

Developing Faithfulness

While participating in the priviledge of praying with my youngest son, his wife, and my mother (all of whom will be moving to Nicaragua as permanent missionaries with in the next few months), I was asked what I wanted to include on the prayer list. My first thought was Faithfulness. I want to develop a thirst for God's presence in my life that is evidenced by my faithfulness in a daily prayer and quiet time with just God.

Today is my first successful choosing to rise early (it is 6:49 as I type this), stay up (my "water" alarm clock is very effective) and read from "The Voice: New Testament" (available on Kindle), and pray as my Father and the Holy Spirit direct.

Upon opening "The Voice: New Testament" I discovered that I had left off on Chapter 3 of 1st Peter, Peter's treatise on the behavior of wives in public.

This is what Peter has to say: "Consider how Sarah, our mother, obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him “lord,” and you will be her daughters as long as you boldly do what is right without fear and without anxiety." (1 Peter 3:6)
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13820-13821). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Later in Chapter 3, Peter has this to say: "14 Even if you should suffer for doing what is right, you will receive a blessing. Don’t let them frighten you. Don’t be intimidated, 15–16 but exalt the Liberating King as Lord in your heart. Always be ready to offer a defense, humbly and respectfully, when someone asks why you live in hope. Keep your conscience clear so that those who ridicule your good conduct in the Liberator and say bad things about you will be put to shame." (emphasis mine)
Nelson, Thomas (2008-10-28). The Voice: New Testament (with book and chapter navigation) (Kindle Locations 13837-13840). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

My take on the above passage from 1 Peter is quite different from the commentator's, who rightly focused on the being prepared to reply to our attackers with humility and respect. My take focuses on the importance of being like Mary and keeping the things God has communicated hidden in her heart so that they have a direct effect on everything she did from that day forward as she raised God's son. The importance of behaving humbly and respectfully when in public (it is important in private too, but how I behave in public, especially when I am with Mike, reflects directly on my husband which damages his self-image and potentially how others view him); and keeping my conscience clear so those who observe me when I AM in public may see Jesus reflected in all that I do and say and imply with my tone of voice or my body language.

My personal prayer list for today is as follows:

• Faithfulness - the 8th of the 9 fruits of the spirit. It requires control over my tongue as I agree or decline requests; keeping promises regardless of how I feel after I've made them; sensitivity to the Holy Spirit so my promises and tasks I obligate to are in line with God's will; AND choosing to get up at 6:30 every morning to spend time with God in prayer and reading His word.
• Our son and daughter, their sons, and my mother, as they move to Nicaragua as full-time missionaries for as many years as God directs. This will require that all are faithful in their family and personal prayer time and quiet time; a significant cultural change from a innocence/guilt culture to a honor/shame culture and all that this implies for our son AND our daughter and my mother as they interact with our son in public.
• Protection and awareness of the inevitable attacks from Satan as their ministry will have profound effect on the hold he has over the people of Managua and Nicaragua. My own mother's heart and grandmother's heart grieve for the pain these attacks will cause; but I have learned that I can be confident in God and His leading. What man means for evil, God can and WILL turn for good.
• My beloved husband, that God will direct me today to respect him and love him as God wills me to do; that my behavior will reflect the love of God that is so deep and so unfathomable that he will be drawn toward God and seek His will first for today; so that my choosing to put God first will be a blessing in my husband's life and that he will bask in the glow of God's favor.

Above all else, it is my desire to bloom where I am planted today, that my actions will reflect God and Jesus, and that I will be directed by the Holy Spirit. If I can accomplish this today, I cannot fail!